Had we known...

Here's a funny story; my horrible, ghastly roommate was moving out. Yay! We found a delightful, seemingly normal fella to replace her. My dream of have an living situation like that of Three's Company was slowly coming true. And I'd be Terri Alden (Pricilla Barnes) because of my caring nature, impecable comedic timing, and tremendous rack.

But alas, dreams often don't come true. The horrible roommate decided 3 days before super duper suit-wearing fella moves in, that she's not moving out. I feel so sad about this situation. My father says, "that's life in the Big City, for ya." He also says, "Bebe Neuwirth has legs up to her neck, and Loretta Swit as a chest that won't quit." But I digress. Oh my.

In other news, I'm pacing myself as far as entertainment and excitment is concerned. Tomorrow, I'm working with one family from 10-5, then imediatly getting on the Jitney to East Hampton to deal with the ticket lady and co. Monday night we return, I go home, feed my Rabbit, pick up my suitcase, and sleep at my other bosses house - we have to leave at 7am the next morning. Then we have 6 14 hour days of fun in the sun (yeah right), followed by 2 10 hr days w/ the ticket lady, then I have a makeup class, followed by my normal class. What a week, I'm about to have.

I've been getting complaints from the Peanut Gallery, concerning the quality in my writing, and it's decline. Well, guess what suckers? Improvement is upon us. I'm so tired at the end of the day, and nobody wants to hear about how many posters I counted, how much dry cleaning I picked up, or how I got a kid to stop isiming. I promise to be more motivated, and write better quality goodness. Also, it's difficult because I never used to have a need to censor myself. Now that my friends read this, I can't say what I really think of them. Especially you, Melissa.

The "help".

The families I work with, have additional "help". I've worked in fully staffed households (butler, maids, Major Domo, security detail, driver, dog walker) and we all know what happen to those gigs. But still, the current families have a handful of "extra hands".

One mother has two other nannies besides myself, and a weekly housekeeper - not uncommon. The Autistic boy I work with, has two other nannies, a live-in housekeeper, and a cook. But the family I work with most often, has 3 other nannies, a full-time housekeeper, a bookkeeper, and me. And I do everything else that's not in the above's job description.

I've only ever worked with two of those three nannies. One is a middle-aged woman from Trinadad, who instantly brightens up my day. She's hilarious, doesn't mince words, and adores me - which is always a good thing. The other women is from Guatemala, and speaks little to no English. I speak enough Spanish to get me out of a jam, but she gets really offended when I try and speak Spanish to her. It's awkward sitting across from someone you know, and not speaking to them. She's warmed up to me - I have the best intentions, and a winning smile - but there's some resentment on her part, I can see.

Customer Support, my ass!

Back to the real world. Well, as "real" as one can expect with my life. Yesterday and today, have proved to be extremely trying days. My boss purchased a Palm Treo 750, the newsest model. It's only compatible with a PC, which she doesn't have. Yet, she's convinced she can sync up her old Palm to my PC, and magically the info will transfer to her new Treo. I was on the phone with Tech Support until 10pm last night, and for 6 hours today. Bottom line, it can't be done. She kept yelling at me to "be more forceful" "demand to speak to a manager." Bite me. Really.

The 7yr old made me a present over the weekend; a replica of my apartment made of Legos, complete with a roommate in the living room. I'm glad someone appreciates me around here.

Just a reminder, Johnny's band Old Springs Pike is performing next week at the Knitting Factory! Get your tickets, while you can.

Oh yeah, I begin level 3 tomorrow at UCB. Nervous? Um, hell's bells yes!

Remarks, reminders, remainders of the day.

Well, I'm pratically done handwritting 250 address labels. No karioke for me, Sirs and Madames - it's all about the big prize at the end of the day. I worked two families today. The crazy Nudist had me organize her insane collection of CD's today. Have you ever known an obese 50-something Jewish women, who LOVES Jamiroqui, Rick Astley, and The Chemical Brothers? I do. I made a joke to her that she must be the only person who actually bought the soundtrack to "Wild Things." She said, "Oh, it's so sexy. Let me show you." No thanks. Ugh, if she asks me to install a pole in her room, I might die.

She also requested I stay later on Thursdays to help the 7yr old with homework. She says I'm quite the tutor. I'm not really, I just don't allow distractions, and continually give positve reenforment. That's what the kid needs. The mothers I work work bribe the kids into doing their assignments. One might as well throw everything fun about learning, out the window. If learning is made out to be a chore, of course the kid won't want to do it. To quote this particular 7yr old, I'm so good because I'm the "Rock and Roll Nanny." And to her little friends, I'm the "comedianne." God, I love this kid.

After all this, I headed to Penn Station (still no wallet) to take a train to Short Hills to pick up the Autistic teenager. Navigating the Gladstone train line is quiet a feat, and I ended up somewhere in Newark. After finally arriving in Short Hills, I picked up the boy (he's 18, he's not really a boy) and planned on bringing him back to New York. It's tough when we're in a large crowd, because he speaks so loudly and so repeativitly, and he's become so physical with me. He respects me in a way he never did with his other caregivers. He told me they tried to hire a new girl during the week, and she quit because he "peeked" at her while she was using the toilet. He's never invaded my personal space like that, but when he hugs me, he tries to put his head on my breasts, and he often has his arm around my shoulder. I explain "friends don't act that way," but it's a very hard concept to grasp for him. I watched him on the train tonight, looking out the window, trying to imagine what he was thinking, and feeling. All the while, he kept a smile on his face, and I became sad. This happens often to me, working with Autistic children. When I used to work with the 4yr old, I'd cry for a long while after one of our sessions. I can't really explain the feeling I get working with these kids. Out of all of the disorders, ailments, and diseases a human can be afflicted with Autism might be the most peaceful, beautiful affliction of any.

Do your own damn photocopying!

It's tough being somebody's bitch. I arrived at work, to perform my typical tasks of bitchery. I was given a monumental one today. One of my employers is dealing with some legal crapp, and she's dragging me into it. Yes, yes familiar territory, I'm well aware. She's involved me in the past with this issue, and I've dutifully complied. Today, I was to photocopy "legal documents", blah blah blah. After becoming best mates with the Zerox guy at Staples - I'd been there 3 times in the course of an hour - I finally had enough. Luckly, my boss was content with the final copies I produced. I really don't enjoy doing this sort of work for her. This is right up there with giving her a massage and buying her Tampons.

Switching gears, I finally got my Rabbit in to see the Vet yesterday. No Vet in Philly was ever this precise and helpful. Did you know, Rabbits are the only animal that enjoys eating their own ear wax? Wow, right! The doctor was cleaning them, then giving the cotton swab to Jemima to munch on. Yum!