Remarks, reminders, remainders of the day.

Well, I'm pratically done handwritting 250 address labels. No karioke for me, Sirs and Madames - it's all about the big prize at the end of the day. I worked two families today. The crazy Nudist had me organize her insane collection of CD's today. Have you ever known an obese 50-something Jewish women, who LOVES Jamiroqui, Rick Astley, and The Chemical Brothers? I do. I made a joke to her that she must be the only person who actually bought the soundtrack to "Wild Things." She said, "Oh, it's so sexy. Let me show you." No thanks. Ugh, if she asks me to install a pole in her room, I might die.

She also requested I stay later on Thursdays to help the 7yr old with homework. She says I'm quite the tutor. I'm not really, I just don't allow distractions, and continually give positve reenforment. That's what the kid needs. The mothers I work work bribe the kids into doing their assignments. One might as well throw everything fun about learning, out the window. If learning is made out to be a chore, of course the kid won't want to do it. To quote this particular 7yr old, I'm so good because I'm the "Rock and Roll Nanny." And to her little friends, I'm the "comedianne." God, I love this kid.

After all this, I headed to Penn Station (still no wallet) to take a train to Short Hills to pick up the Autistic teenager. Navigating the Gladstone train line is quiet a feat, and I ended up somewhere in Newark. After finally arriving in Short Hills, I picked up the boy (he's 18, he's not really a boy) and planned on bringing him back to New York. It's tough when we're in a large crowd, because he speaks so loudly and so repeativitly, and he's become so physical with me. He respects me in a way he never did with his other caregivers. He told me they tried to hire a new girl during the week, and she quit because he "peeked" at her while she was using the toilet. He's never invaded my personal space like that, but when he hugs me, he tries to put his head on my breasts, and he often has his arm around my shoulder. I explain "friends don't act that way," but it's a very hard concept to grasp for him. I watched him on the train tonight, looking out the window, trying to imagine what he was thinking, and feeling. All the while, he kept a smile on his face, and I became sad. This happens often to me, working with Autistic children. When I used to work with the 4yr old, I'd cry for a long while after one of our sessions. I can't really explain the feeling I get working with these kids. Out of all of the disorders, ailments, and diseases a human can be afflicted with Autism might be the most peaceful, beautiful affliction of any.

Time

There's a lot one can do in the course of three hours. I've ismed with an Autistic child while being filmed for three hours. I've marched in a parade playing the tenor sax, down the boardwalk in Virginia Beach for three hours. I've tended to my (Mum's) world famous briscuit for more then three hours. I've patiently waited for a cocaine addict to achieve orgasm in three hours.

After time with the child, he hugged me. After the parade, I won an award. After the briscuit, my father was pleased with my ability to cook. And yes, that guy finally came. My point it, it doesn't matter how long something I do takes. The outcome will almost always be positive. And one has to admire my dedication, and hidden talents.

Off to the Toys R Us in friggan Times Square to buy a birthday present. Ugh. But join us tonight; it's "Hello Dolly Roustabout Night."

These are the people in my neighborhood

Most are confused by the amount of families I'm currently caring for. What amazes me most, I've kept it straight and together this long. We know of the overweight Nudist on the UWS, with the twins, one having Autisim. He hasn't put his head in the toilet lately. His sister is my most favorite child in all of New York. She's the best. I succeeded in royally pissing this mother off, over the holidays. After she insisted I return my key, she back tracked, and took me back. Why? Because I'm the only Nanny you'll ever meet, that'll run 8 blocks to the Radio Shack, 10 min. before it closes, to buy an adapter for a laptop, and in turn, saving the freaking day.

Then we have the crazy 3-fingered ticket lady, also on the UWS, with the daughter whose charm grew on my overnight. Such a talented little girl, she taught me to ice-skate in the Hamptons, during Christmas. I almost forgot to mention, we ice skated with Tim Robbins at Chelsea Piers last week. Sadly, her mother is balls-out crazy, treats her daughter horribly, and doesn't pay me nearly enough. So, I'm happily tossing this gig towards my delightful roommate. She can use the bread, and it'll give her the exposure she needs. See, a relationship with me, is a symbiotic one!

Finally, we have the Autistic teenager who adores me. And I him. He's 18, and speaks of nothing but trains, forms of transportation, fast food, and women's legs. We went to the Central Park Zoo last weekend, and two weeks earlier we walked accross the Brooklyn Bridge all the way to my old apartment in Tribeca.

All of these families are great, in their own way. And amazingly, I've been able to support myself since leaving my last position. But I really, really need a stable, "normal" job. Once I have that, I won't have to schedule going to the movies, out to dinner, or hanging at UCB several days in advance. And I really need to get back to improv. I miss it so much.