Goodbye, my lover.

Oh dear. My gentleman friend has found another. This was bound to happen, of course. That was the arrangement. If one of us finds someone they chose to be monogamous with, our relationship ends. I knew he'd find someone first. The Bronx isn't that big. It will be a loss, however.

We were coworkers, and it took me three months to introduce myself. I approached him in the lunch room of my nursing home and said hello, one day. Man, I was a DORK. He was my work crush. Now, the beauty of a work crush, is that is all it is. You would never date this person out of work, but seeing them makes a shitty day better. I'd get all smushy when I'd see him. So cute with his glasses and round tush! Ugh, sorry. Spending time with a senior, I'd go out of my way to be near him while talking to them. Remember when I said I was a dork?

When I quit, I told his best friend, the security guard, that I had a work crush on him. His response, "Really? That's funny, because he thinks your gorgeous." Awww, right? Well, that was 8 months ago.

No one has met him, not even Helen. I sort of like it that way. We're very different, and I like that as well. He's not a bull shit artist like so many people I know. He's direct and honest. The only Broadway show he's seen is Cats, prefers comic books to novels, he can't swim or drive, and takes care of his mother. We'll spend a good portion of the evening playing Nintendo, inbetween our trysts and General Tso's Chicken. No one know we're here.

The reason for my waxy poetry? I'll miss him. Our trysts weren't extraordinary. His kissing wasn't even that good. He'd never let me get to emotionally close - he'd speak about his personal life, but refuse to use names and exact locations. That being said, I felt safe and ok with him.

I think, with every person you encounter, whether it be a lover, an enemy, or a friend, there is something to learn from that person. Some small piece you can take along with you. I suppose the one thing I can take away from him, is the knowledge that I am actually ok. And that I don't need him, or anyone to reaffirm that. I will miss the General Tso's...