Was that your Boner???

I've been staying home or spending time at other's homes. It's really just an excuse to watch The Jerk, drink alot, and spoon one another. Yes, my friends are a big bunch of spooners. My friend Miles suggests I pull a "reach-around", but I suppose I'm too shy.

Last night, a few of my friends stopped by for a would-be girls night/party planning session. Through some wacky misunderstandings, my new masculine friend ended up running into Helen, in-turn bumping into myself and my sexy personal trainer. She and I were clad in my dead grandmother's old furs, leotards, and Vans. We were purchasing Smirnoff Ice from the deli, and getting a slice of pizza. Yes, that WAS me putting my Vans on the counter to show the pizza guy. What else would one be doing on a Sunday night in Harlem?

We all came home, I ate my Sicilian, she ate her Veggie, Helen cooked lunch for the next day, and our man friend watched, wishing he had money. Before you start accusing me of being insensitive, I might say I treated him to a hearty lunch at White Castle earlier in the day. My trainer suggested we play "truth or dare". This was an idea that with greeted with mixed emotions. Helen quickly retired to her study to save the world, our man friend sort of just sat there, and I whole heartedly said YES!!!

"Truth or Dare" never really went well for me. At a sleepover when I was 14, I was dared to lay down on the street in my underwear. My mother didn't appreciate that. And of course the kissing of the female friends, met with giggles and whispers. By the time heavy duty "Truth or Dare" was in session, I had already been shipped off to my no-touching policy boarding school. I've never even played "seven minutes in heaven". But really, how much trouble can one get into in 7 minutes!

So we lit some tea lights and cranked up my Mates of State playlist on Pandora - you know, to set the mood of being ironically juvenile. Yes, good times were had by all. We all asked typical truth stuff, regarding loosing of virginity, who would you cheat on your partner with, what's the kinkiest thing you've ever done...I asked the hard hitting stuff, such as "Have you ever had a murderous thought?" What can I say, I'm special.

I've always preferred "Truth" to "Dare", because I'm quite the storyteller. Obviously. Yet, I'm painfully gun shy. I will never make the first move, and I'm ridiculously cautious. So you'd be as surprised as I was, when I found myself accepting the dare of dry humping one of our friends. Well, in all actuality, I was supposed to simulate what I look like when I'm about to have an orgasm. Honestly, I don't really know, what with me being chaste. And I'm pretty sure I accidentally touched his boner.

Dancing was had, legs entwined through one another took place, I got sort of turned on by a girl, and a delightful new sketch character was born on this night! Just you wait!!! If I can't almost have an orgy with my good friends, while creating comic gold, then what good are the for???