Since I'm a stubborn pain in the ass, and rarely listen to others, I finally gave in and took some time for myself. I went to the Lower East Side and bought a vibrator. People are surprised to learn I don't own one. That probably has to do with the fact that I've always lived with others, from my parents, to families I nannied for, to a plethora of roommates. It's just respectful. You wouldn't want your roommate's boyfriend to ejaculate all over your sofa/love seat combo - no matter how much you deserve it.
The location of my purchase was super female-friendly Babeland. They're extremely friendly and ridiculously well informed. It's bright, fancy, and pretty. Women like pretty things! Their mindset is to put the customer as ease, because sex toys are fun and choosing one shouldn't be an arduous task. A refreshing approach to sexual empowerment. In the past, I've been terribly timid to even browse in such a place. Yes, I do have one or two conservative bones in my body - though I think I broke them having sex. :rimshot:
My best friend and I would take her bumper sticker-fied Jetta to South Street in Philadelphia. Sort of like the West Village and Williamsburg, only smaller, cheaper, and drunker. We'd giggle at the bongs and piercing parlors. I will go on record stating that I was thisclose to getting my tongue pierced at Warrior Piercing. Near Warrior if you follow the sidewalk, you'll begin to see little cartoon spermies, leading you to Condom Kingdom - the be all end all giggle inducing sex shop. There were spermies on the sidewalk!!! If anyone can verify that these spermies are still around, please post!!!
We'd NJ Transit ourselves up to Christopher Street to check out the ironic lesbian t-shirts. But these sex shops were disgusting, and I remember actually feeling like I was going to throw up in one store. I couldn't get over all of the video (wow, that dates me) covers full of women with their legs spread open. And butt plugs. Butt what??? These big knobs that resemble cartoon arrowheads. You put them where??? I couldn't even fathom how that could work. I mean, after my mother purchased me the "Getting to know your body book for girls", it took me several months to wrap my mind around the whole "penis in vagina" thing. And it took the guy who was playing Chief Bromden in Cuckoo's Nest several days to explain anal sex to me. After professing my love to him, he told me he was gay - hmm, it all made sense now. And I clearly remember having a heated debate with Rachel Jankowski's little brother, protesting that you cannot have sex via the ear canal! Sex in the cusp of sexual awakening age is a scary, freaky, crying in the fetal position time.
My best friend and I once swiped her dad's porn "Double Penetration 6", and I was shocked. You can put your mouth there? GROSSSSSSSS!!!!! She was not fazed, as her grandmother owns a stripclub on route 309 that bears her name. I was definitely the sheltered one in the friendship. Now she's a nurse and lives happily with her girlfriend of many years in New Jersey. It's her birthday today :) Happy Birthday Coo!!!
Anyway, getting back to the point of this yarn. I was very pleased with my purchase, peeking into the bag on the subway. I'm very proud of myself for doing something that will bring me peace, and help me remain centered. Because never pausing just to breathe for a moment, is one of my downfalls. So I thank my wonderful friends for prodding and the many texts I've been receiving today, wondering how the "new friend" is doing. I think it'll be great - I've been looking for a good milkshake maker for awhile now.
1 comment:
Your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
I was in Philly two years ago and the cartoon spermies were still there! Thought Condom Kingdom was fantastic and almost bought the only full-length musical porn ever (although, MF probably has it!!!)
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