I missed you too!

Level 301 is kaput, and I have to say, I'm sad. These were the best of times for me. It was great being with people that genuinly supported me, no matter the amout I suckage I projected. Some of my 301-ers will join will for 401 beginning at the end of May. Yay for me.

Apparently, my life is still bloggable. I've just chosen to not write about it, lately. I'm not really THAT busy. I come home at 9 or 10, on a daily basis, but I sit at my laptop and just fart around on it. Less farting, more wisdom. Take that lesson, and stick it in your lapel.

Let's see. Some interesting tidbits to chew on.

-I feel rotten. I have the sniffles and sneezes, and I just want some Sleepytime Tea and a sound sleep.
-my roommate threw Oatmeal at me last week. Much like the color red makes bulls angry, hot pink nightgowns with the word "Sexy" spelled out in sequens do the same to my roommate.
-she downloaded a photo of her Vagina onto my computer. After some detective work and determining it was her Vagina, I made it my desktop backround.
-After class last week, I walked in on her having the sex. Consequently, I ate a slice of pizza with the Mafia down the street, instead of the confines of my living room.
-I choreographed a dance routine for the two girls I work with for their talent show. Moments before show time, one girl backed out. I saved the day, and performed with the other girl. I am awesome. At least Kelly Ripa thinks so.

And we're back.

After a quick jaunt to Easthampton, I'm back, packed, and ready to go to Boca with the fam. Not my fam, of course. I purchased a smart new suitcase (which my roommate pointed out, I'm quite pleased with), bought some black chino shorts, packed my Marc Jacobs jellie sandals (which I gladly inherited from a former employer) and my laptop. And my camera of course! I'll be blogging about this adventure as often as I can.

My two other roommates are also getting out of dodge. One is going to Texas, the other California to see their fam for Easter. Who's taking care of my Rabbit? My friend from down the street. Don't worry, she'll be fine. She's also making sure our TV is still there.

Had we known...

Here's a funny story; my horrible, ghastly roommate was moving out. Yay! We found a delightful, seemingly normal fella to replace her. My dream of have an living situation like that of Three's Company was slowly coming true. And I'd be Terri Alden (Pricilla Barnes) because of my caring nature, impecable comedic timing, and tremendous rack.

But alas, dreams often don't come true. The horrible roommate decided 3 days before super duper suit-wearing fella moves in, that she's not moving out. I feel so sad about this situation. My father says, "that's life in the Big City, for ya." He also says, "Bebe Neuwirth has legs up to her neck, and Loretta Swit as a chest that won't quit." But I digress. Oh my.

In other news, I'm pacing myself as far as entertainment and excitment is concerned. Tomorrow, I'm working with one family from 10-5, then imediatly getting on the Jitney to East Hampton to deal with the ticket lady and co. Monday night we return, I go home, feed my Rabbit, pick up my suitcase, and sleep at my other bosses house - we have to leave at 7am the next morning. Then we have 6 14 hour days of fun in the sun (yeah right), followed by 2 10 hr days w/ the ticket lady, then I have a makeup class, followed by my normal class. What a week, I'm about to have.

I've been getting complaints from the Peanut Gallery, concerning the quality in my writing, and it's decline. Well, guess what suckers? Improvement is upon us. I'm so tired at the end of the day, and nobody wants to hear about how many posters I counted, how much dry cleaning I picked up, or how I got a kid to stop isiming. I promise to be more motivated, and write better quality goodness. Also, it's difficult because I never used to have a need to censor myself. Now that my friends read this, I can't say what I really think of them. Especially you, Melissa.

On second thought.

Cat sitting was...exhausting. I spent a good pasrt of the weekend, worried whether or not the animal would still be alive when I got home, and whether I'd have a job come Monday morning. This cat has a price tag, with an hourly rate. You may be wondering, why there was room for concern regarding the animal's safety. Because she ended up on our fire escape at least once, and in the hallway another time. All I'm saying, is that I was at work the whole time.

The walk home, and the day as a whole.

Class was tough. I'm not going to lie. The Autistic teenager I care for, thinks my teacher's too tough. That's not really the case. I ADORE my teacher. But, class was really weird this evening. Maybe it's the half-way slump. I'm so pleased, because at this time during 201 I hadn't really clicked with my other classmates. None of us really hung out. It wasn't until after 201 was over, that friendships were forged. Whether they will continue forging along, is a different post altogether. But here, we all get along and genuinely like one another. I told them I really don't write about them, but I just can't help it.

I ADORE YOU GUYS!!!

I went to see Chicago today, just to see Phillip Casnoff. Damn you, Phillip Casnoff. Were you to busy giving Bebe Neuwirth a foot massage, to come out to see little old me? He was dead sexy today. Let's use this as a segway to hornyness.

I am. Often. Maybe I hide it well. Or not. I was never the one that got off on a famous actor, or hot sex scene. Or Dexter. No, I'm the one that gets her rocks off, watching certain members of the male species perform on Broadway. Watching some of them, my toes curl right in my shoes. I'm not saying I get bizarrely aroused by a promo shot from Chess in 1986, featuring Phillip Casnoff. But I'm not not saying that either. Maybe what I'm saying, is that I'd like to have sex. Now works for me.

Here's a brief list of fictional characters that I find attractive.
-Barney Rubble from The Flinstones
-Captain Caveman
-Peter Brady
-Jack Tripper
-Joey Gladstone
-The Riddler
-that kid from Even Stevens (he's legal, don't start)
-Harry Potter
-Caracatus Potts (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)
-Cyclops
-Fred (Scooby Doo)

There's a Mao Mao in the hizz-ouse, a Jew on a plane, and another on the street.

Many exciting events are taking place in The Valet's life as of late, and it's best we spill a few of the good tidings.

Firstly, as the post title suggests, we're (my roommates and I) are getting a cat. Sort of. I'm cat-sitting for a week, while my boss and her kid ski the slopes of Park City. The cat's name is Cosette, a name I can't stand, so I call her Mao Mao. Like the Puerto Rican Gang in Brooklyn, during the 1950's. I've always wanted a cat, and I'm curious how she'll interact with my Rabbit.

Also, as I've previously mentioned, but know reiterating, I'm going to Boca for 4 days with a family. I've traveled with familes before (the Hamptons, upstate NY, Jersey shore) but never on a plane. I promised the kids I'd put together kid-friendly airplane bags filled with enough goodies to keep them entertained for two hours. The day before I leave for Florida, I'm going to East Hampton for another job. Whatta life!

But the best news, is that our horrible old roommate if FINALLY moving out. How wonderful!

When it's cold outside, what are you supposed to do?

Watch Showgirls, of course. I love Showgirls, in the way some love The Lost Boys or Citizen Kane. I pick up little nuances everytime I watch. My roommates have never seen this classic, and since the weather was so horrible, I insisted we watch. I'm still trying to convince one of my roommates to dress as Nomi Malone for Halloween.

One of my favorite moments;
when Nomi and James, the black dancer fella are trying out the routine, and he puts his hand down her pants. She stops him, explaining she's on her period. Or as I say, being menstrul. And because she's been around many untrusting people in her life, she tells him to check. She was telling the truth, the whole time!