It's been several days since you put your penis inside of me. How have you been? I hear you've been busy. Well I'm assuming you've been busy. Normal behavior dictates several things, involving intercourse and intimate contact between two consenting adults.
Firstly, a thank you or a fun text by midday, the following day thanking the other for the fun times is in order. Sideways winky face is optional. Of course, people aren't always expected to thank someone whenever pleasantries are exchanged in a day-to-day situation. But a simple "thanks for lending me that book" or "had a great time at your party, the other night" is always appropriate. But in this particular instance, there was no book lending and there certainly wasn't a party.
Secondly, complete avoidance after a sexual encounter is inevitable, but unacceptable. Yes, there will be times in a person's life when they meet an attractive person at a bar/concert/Starbucks/street corner and the meeting becomes sexual. Hopefully, both know this is a one shot deal. Occasionally one person promises to call another person, and chooses not to out of embarrassment or a sudden move to another state or a death in the family. These things happen. Unfortunately, when said person continues to ask the other out in a public forum such as Facebook or Friendster, and when the two people have many mutual friends, the intelligent thing to do would not be to avoid contact with that person once they have inserted a penis into a vagina. Because then the person with the vagina will write her feelings down in a witty way, on another public forum like the internet.
Finally, quirks are common place where intercourse is concerned. We all have facets of our sexual life that are best to be kept private between two partners. For instance, I enjoy having my ear nibbled on - that is a quirk. And I hate feet - yet another quirk. It's always a surprise to learn about a partners quirks, the first time a sexual encounter takes place. A penchant for soft biting and hair tugging are a few I've encountered. But a partner who shakes and trembles violently as if they're having convulsions is a new one. I suppose these convulsions are a distraction, to keep you from ejaculating to soon. Consideration for another is always appreciated. And when you are finally at the point of ejaculation, a loud, girlish scream is rather odd. If I acted in that manner, you'd become fearful I was cumming rusty needles and rubbing alcohol.
And an added note regarding sexual quirks - bruising will happen. But bruising that resembles getting pummeled by a 300lb mime is just not acceptable - I work with children after all.
Hopefully this was helpful to you. One of my strongest suits is my willingness to go out of my way for others and make them feel comfortable. Such as when I cooked you breakfast the following morning - I always take care of my guests. Think of this letter as my way of assisting you in the proper way to fuck and run.
Very truly yours,
The Smirking Valet
PS - the eggs I prepared for breakfast that day, were apparently several weeks old. Hopefully salmonella isn't as serious as it sounds. Kisses!
1 comment:
Awesome.... I really I hope I never piss you off! Though I suppose that'd be pretty hard to do from all the way out here anyway.
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