What I was supposed to do, as opposed to what I did do.

It was a busy off day, today. I woke at noon - which is a rarity for me - and went to Target with my roommate. Target is a magical place where time stands still. You go in at 2pm, find cute clothes and and Super Glue, and walk out 7 hours later. I've never been to the Brooklyn Target, and I was very happy to have an expert with me.

I was supposed to go see Sho perform at UCB tonight, but Brooklyn had other plans for me. So, to the two standby-ers, who got in because I never showed up - your quite welcome. I was home in tim to watch Lost, and drink some wine. Apparently, my roomate and I are drunk a little bit. I know this because she's wearing nothing but a coat , be-bopping around the living room, holding my Woody Allen DVD collection. Now, she's humping the TV. And I'm sort of sloshed, because I can't stop giggling. Now she's humping the green chair. She's just informed me it's dress-up time. She's a cheerleader. Now she's putting her underwear. Clean ones, I hope.

Update; she's just informed me, "It's time to get serious." Then she tried to smother me with a floor pillow. Now, she's a Pirate.

Stroke of genius! Get it??

How often has this happen to you? You're tugging your partner's nuts impatiently, while they're putting the condom on, and you think "Golly, I wonder where I can pick up the "Q" around here" or "I don't have much confidence in the Coca-Cola corporation. I need some convincing!"

Really, I'm all for this plan. Safe sex rocks! Ever since Equus (damn Equus!) and possibly Brooklyn, I'm quite fearful of riding bareback.

I have a rule with the condoms I distribute. Yes, I'm the one for the job. If I give you one, and it's used in another state, you must mail the wrapper back to me. Bonus points if used overseas.

Wrap it up, Boys - it's cold out there!