Smooth Move, Ex-Lax

I dropped a heavy table on the foot of a Super Sexy Power Table supporter today. And I opted to not go to our lame-ass company picnic, and rather nursed a hangover. Thank you Gargantuan Margaritas! Supposedly, I'm expected to support my coworkers and not drop heavy obkects on them. For a nursing home, this is as corporate as I've seen. Oliver Stone should make a movie about us. Christina Ricci would play me, of course. Our VP would be played by Julianne Moore, the bitchy coworker in my department would be played by S. Epatha Merkleson, and the old sassy black lady I throw laser punches too, would be played my Jimmy J.J. Walker in drag. Instead of "Dynomite!" he'd say "Peace, Hippie!" And...it would be A MUSICAL!

My coworkers seem surprised I don't take any drugs.