My 26th birthday is looming, and I'm in current preparations for the biggest party of my life. I've never thrown a party on my own, without my mother for constant support. She always knew the perfect place for Rachel Jankowski's sleeping bag. And my father would read Poe's The Raven to scare the crap out of us. But, I digress.
Feeling quite intrepid today, I took it upon myself to stain a table the boys downstairs were throwing away. Once the seed is planted, I quite enjoy homey projects. I picked up a small can of Minwax and a big paint brush. I swiped a bunch of AM New Yorks, and covered our bitchy ex-roommate's floor with them. Then I stained all day. The color is called Jacobean, but after two coats I think it's a lovely light shade of ebony. With the creative juices flowing, I made a huge collage to hang on our wall. Our apartment will be so wonderful, come July 14th. I just have to make sure I don't become so stressed, I accidentaly kill on of my roommates.
30.6.07
26.6.07
What to do, when you're caring for an Oscar winner's child.
Living and working in New York, it's inevitable you'll have to eventually work with an Oscar winner's child. It happens. Just like death and taxes. Here are 5 easy steps to prepare you for a painless encounter with an Oscar winner's child, and perhaps even the Oscar winner.
1. Chances are, the child has been in several of her award-winning parent's films, so she must have an IMDB profile, as well as a Wikipedia page. Read up on the child - no one like an uninformed caregiver.
2. Tidy the playing area, to a calebre that only the child of a celebrity can appreciate. No need to put away Variety, Entertainment Weekly, and People - especially if the child or the child's parent is on the cover.
3. When preparing a meal for the child, always confirm with the parent/assistant/nanny that the child isn't a vegatarian. If the child is a vegatarian, you must alter the entire meal, to the parent/assistant/nanny's specifications. And of course, everything must be organic.
4. Unless the award-winning parent's most recent film was an unexpected blockbuster directed by Michel Gondry, never make mention of the parent's illustrious career to the child. She know's her parent rocks.
5. When meeting the Oscar-winning parent, be demure and slow with your actions. Never make any sudden moves. Remember, you're approacing the situation, not as a fan, but as someone paid to care for a child. The only time a freak-out is permitted, is if the award-winning parent was in a Michel Gondry film.
I hope this helped!
1. Chances are, the child has been in several of her award-winning parent's films, so she must have an IMDB profile, as well as a Wikipedia page. Read up on the child - no one like an uninformed caregiver.
2. Tidy the playing area, to a calebre that only the child of a celebrity can appreciate. No need to put away Variety, Entertainment Weekly, and People - especially if the child or the child's parent is on the cover.
3. When preparing a meal for the child, always confirm with the parent/assistant/nanny that the child isn't a vegatarian. If the child is a vegatarian, you must alter the entire meal, to the parent/assistant/nanny's specifications. And of course, everything must be organic.
4. Unless the award-winning parent's most recent film was an unexpected blockbuster directed by Michel Gondry, never make mention of the parent's illustrious career to the child. She know's her parent rocks.
5. When meeting the Oscar-winning parent, be demure and slow with your actions. Never make any sudden moves. Remember, you're approacing the situation, not as a fan, but as someone paid to care for a child. The only time a freak-out is permitted, is if the award-winning parent was in a Michel Gondry film.
I hope this helped!
30.5.07
When your Daddy loves another lady.
I've been keeping this ordeal to myself; it's actually quite painful to talk about. Things of this nature, don't typically bother me. But, things like this never happened to me before. In mid-April, my Mum called me up, explaining my father was going to Church, for Easter. We're Jewish. He was showing interest in the Messianic Jewsish culture aka. Jews For Jesus. We (my Mum & I) thought is was incredably strange behavior for my father. He's one of the smartest & most funny people I know - so much of "me" is a reflection of him. We also thought, this was just a weird mid-life crisis coming a bit late, and it would pass.
Several weeks later, my Mum calls me again. "Your father put a Jesus Fish, on the car." She then ripped it off.
She went to Florida to visit her mother. When she got back, my father wasn't there. He didn't call her the whole week. When I would call him to check on him - he's been known to fall down the stairs from time, to time - the phone would ring until midnight. He was at Bible Study.
Once my father did come home, he told my mother he wanted to divorce her. They've been married 31 years. And although they constantly fought, I really thought they loved one another. I can't analyze this part of the story right now - it hurts. What I can tell you, is that before my father became a Jew For Jesus (he accepted Jesus as his personal savior), he and my mother managed. They struggled, but managed.
I haven't spoken to him since the beginning of May. We soon found out, he purchased a cell phone, with a separate plan. And he's been chatting a lot with a woman that does Bible Study at the nursing home he works at. I continued to beleive he wasn't cheating on his wife. My father's to smart for that.
It's the woman, who introduced him to Jews For Jesus. And she doesn't know he's married. And she has a son my age. And she's 15 years younger than him. He's 65, mind you.
Part of me want to call this woman, and scream and yell at her. Another part wants to hook her manly son onto musical theatre & tap dancing.
My mother is taking all of this SO much better than I am. I'm really amazed. She says a weight has been lifted off her. I'm so mixed up about the situation, and I really don't know what'll happen next. I'm just working constantly, and surrounding myself with friends & white chocolate. That helps.
Several weeks later, my Mum calls me again. "Your father put a Jesus Fish, on the car." She then ripped it off.
She went to Florida to visit her mother. When she got back, my father wasn't there. He didn't call her the whole week. When I would call him to check on him - he's been known to fall down the stairs from time, to time - the phone would ring until midnight. He was at Bible Study.
Once my father did come home, he told my mother he wanted to divorce her. They've been married 31 years. And although they constantly fought, I really thought they loved one another. I can't analyze this part of the story right now - it hurts. What I can tell you, is that before my father became a Jew For Jesus (he accepted Jesus as his personal savior), he and my mother managed. They struggled, but managed.
I haven't spoken to him since the beginning of May. We soon found out, he purchased a cell phone, with a separate plan. And he's been chatting a lot with a woman that does Bible Study at the nursing home he works at. I continued to beleive he wasn't cheating on his wife. My father's to smart for that.
It's the woman, who introduced him to Jews For Jesus. And she doesn't know he's married. And she has a son my age. And she's 15 years younger than him. He's 65, mind you.
Part of me want to call this woman, and scream and yell at her. Another part wants to hook her manly son onto musical theatre & tap dancing.
My mother is taking all of this SO much better than I am. I'm really amazed. She says a weight has been lifted off her. I'm so mixed up about the situation, and I really don't know what'll happen next. I'm just working constantly, and surrounding myself with friends & white chocolate. That helps.
28.5.07
Busy like a Muff Diver.
How has your Memorial Day weekend been? Mine has be an insane, work-filled frenzy of glamourousness. Almost. You may note, I work on every major holiday - I can't remember the last time I had a day off for Christmas, or got to spend Thanksgiving or Passover with my family. You might also note, I've been doing this since I was 17. More on that, later.
The "ticket lady" family is in London, for the opening of "Fiddler on the Roof" - thanks to my roommate's stealth behavior & crazy-like-a-fox M.O., I discovered, the mother pumped a good chunk of her own personal coinage into this production. And she gets to bring her daughter.
I'm typically not envious of the priveledged children I work with. Granted, their trust funds are are almost as large as the National Debt, they have more toys than the Shah of Burma, and have a better wardrobe than Ms. Furstenburg, they live in completely fucked up homes. Really fucked up. But, when I hear that this little girl gets to travel to London, 3-4 times a year, gets to go to the Tony's, and has more stamps in her passport than a Sailor, I get kinda pissed.
Yes, I'm going to the Tony's as well - but just the rehearsal!
The "ticket lady" family is in London, for the opening of "Fiddler on the Roof" - thanks to my roommate's stealth behavior & crazy-like-a-fox M.O., I discovered, the mother pumped a good chunk of her own personal coinage into this production. And she gets to bring her daughter.
I'm typically not envious of the priveledged children I work with. Granted, their trust funds are are almost as large as the National Debt, they have more toys than the Shah of Burma, and have a better wardrobe than Ms. Furstenburg, they live in completely fucked up homes. Really fucked up. But, when I hear that this little girl gets to travel to London, 3-4 times a year, gets to go to the Tony's, and has more stamps in her passport than a Sailor, I get kinda pissed.
Yes, I'm going to the Tony's as well - but just the rehearsal!
23.5.07
21.4.07
I missed you too!
Level 301 is kaput, and I have to say, I'm sad. These were the best of times for me. It was great being with people that genuinly supported me, no matter the amout I suckage I projected. Some of my 301-ers will join will for 401 beginning at the end of May. Yay for me.
Apparently, my life is still bloggable. I've just chosen to not write about it, lately. I'm not really THAT busy. I come home at 9 or 10, on a daily basis, but I sit at my laptop and just fart around on it. Less farting, more wisdom. Take that lesson, and stick it in your lapel.
Let's see. Some interesting tidbits to chew on.
-I feel rotten. I have the sniffles and sneezes, and I just want some Sleepytime Tea and a sound sleep.
-my roommate threw Oatmeal at me last week. Much like the color red makes bulls angry, hot pink nightgowns with the word "Sexy" spelled out in sequens do the same to my roommate.
-she downloaded a photo of her Vagina onto my computer. After some detective work and determining it was her Vagina, I made it my desktop backround.
-After class last week, I walked in on her having the sex. Consequently, I ate a slice of pizza with the Mafia down the street, instead of the confines of my living room.
-I choreographed a dance routine for the two girls I work with for their talent show. Moments before show time, one girl backed out. I saved the day, and performed with the other girl. I am awesome. At least Kelly Ripa thinks so.
Apparently, my life is still bloggable. I've just chosen to not write about it, lately. I'm not really THAT busy. I come home at 9 or 10, on a daily basis, but I sit at my laptop and just fart around on it. Less farting, more wisdom. Take that lesson, and stick it in your lapel.
Let's see. Some interesting tidbits to chew on.
-I feel rotten. I have the sniffles and sneezes, and I just want some Sleepytime Tea and a sound sleep.
-my roommate threw Oatmeal at me last week. Much like the color red makes bulls angry, hot pink nightgowns with the word "Sexy" spelled out in sequens do the same to my roommate.
-she downloaded a photo of her Vagina onto my computer. After some detective work and determining it was her Vagina, I made it my desktop backround.
-After class last week, I walked in on her having the sex. Consequently, I ate a slice of pizza with the Mafia down the street, instead of the confines of my living room.
-I choreographed a dance routine for the two girls I work with for their talent show. Moments before show time, one girl backed out. I saved the day, and performed with the other girl. I am awesome. At least Kelly Ripa thinks so.
2.4.07
And we're back.
After a quick jaunt to Easthampton, I'm back, packed, and ready to go to Boca with the fam. Not my fam, of course. I purchased a smart new suitcase (which my roommate pointed out, I'm quite pleased with), bought some black chino shorts, packed my Marc Jacobs jellie sandals (which I gladly inherited from a former employer) and my laptop. And my camera of course! I'll be blogging about this adventure as often as I can.
My two other roommates are also getting out of dodge. One is going to Texas, the other California to see their fam for Easter. Who's taking care of my Rabbit? My friend from down the street. Don't worry, she'll be fine. She's also making sure our TV is still there.
My two other roommates are also getting out of dodge. One is going to Texas, the other California to see their fam for Easter. Who's taking care of my Rabbit? My friend from down the street. Don't worry, she'll be fine. She's also making sure our TV is still there.
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